
I'm a journal-keeper by nature. I refrain from calling it a diary, because that word reminds me of 4th grade crushes, penciled hearts and photo cutouts from TigerBeat magazine. 'Journal' seems more substantive, scientific, sophisticated. The content is still coming from yours truly, but at some point a while back I realized that my thoughts were no longer bound by the constraints of naivety or ignorance, and suddenly I was forced to reckon with the unending supply of complex questions my mind seemed to pose. Indeed, life is hard. So what?
Nowadays, my journal is filled with a mixture of neurotic self-psychoanalysis and pretentious reporting of my surrounding cultural manifestations that I feel contribute to the general focus of personal life-coaching that my journal is required to provide. Ahem. It is, undoubtedly, the most embarassing thing I own. That is why nothing and no one sees my journal.
However, this post was inspired by the sudden pang of dissapointment I experienced when I realized that my journal was private. As in, all of the ideas and wreckless rants and passionate devotionals are on pages so secluded by my own selfish supervision that the world will never experience some of my most masterful works of literary genius (ha...ha).
It dawned on me that this so-called blogosphere that everyone has adopted as a gateway of individualized collectivism in the realm of social media is only a front for what we really want to say. I knew that no matter how long I blog or how many entries I make I'll never fully disclose one intimate thing: my personal truth.
A blog is a lot of things, but being the social platform that it unavoidably is means that a blogger has to have an opinion.
And sometimes having an opinion means defying someone else. The thing is, I don't really want to argue all the time, and sometimes I like to keep my opinons to myself. Like right now, this may be the most useless and pointless conversation I have ever tried to make, but what I am trying to say is best left in the words of Christian Lacroix: "I feel we all have a deep deep soul that is impossible to share".
photo by j.j.a